Since the beginning of the year we seem to have been in a loop of disruptions, and just when I thought things were settling down, after earlier-than-expected grandson, colds, my daughter's move, and then the snow, something else came along to throw everything pear-shaped. This time it was health problems for my parents. Something comparatively minor really - apart from the fact that if you're in your late 90s NOTHING is ever minor, so when a younger person would be nipping to see a GP, older folk end up in hospital, and when one goes in hospital, the other goes into respite care. So we've had a week or more spending all day out, dashing, or sitting stuck in traffic queues, between hospital and care home, getting home with barely enough time to walk the poor dog (who's definitely feeling neglected), grab a takeaway/frozen dinner, and collapse on the sofa, numbly watching old Star Trek Enterprise and Big Bang Theory, before falling asleep.
Nothing prepares you for having to turn into carer for your parents, and it's been a week that's left me physically and emotionally drained. Sadly, such weeks are bound to become more frequent.
It's too easy, though, to fall into the glass-half-empty mindset, so instead I've decided to list all the good things that also happened this week.
Firstly, a competition prize arrived. A Taste of Arran gift box won through CalMac ferries in the run up to Christmas. It's taken a while to arrive as e-mails got mixed up, but it's here! And filled with cheese, chutney, oatcakes, and (my Scottish favourites) haggis, and tablet (sort of like fudge but better).
Making time on Mother's Day to take Dylan the dog out for a special walk at Shipley Country Park, with new places for him to sniff, oh and daffodils and snowdrops for me to admire.
Later that day, tea with our eldest daughter to celebrate her first Mother's Day, and look, a wonderful 'first' for me too, a card from my baby grandson.
Retail therapy and discovering a fab new (to me) clothing brand, Lily and Me. FB has been showing me their adverts for a while, and this week I thought, Why not? Let's try them - and these first two tops are great.
Food - yes, we've eaten a LOT of frozen dinners and takeaways, but one day we treated ourselves to lunch at IKEA - hardly gourmet dining but it was different (Moroccan chicken), self-service so quickly picked up, and, most importantly, on the route from care home to hospital.
Our new armchair, on order for six or seven weeks, arrived.
More food! Lemon muffins from Morrisons. I don't often shop there but we were restocking my parents' food cupboards with cake, amongst other things, and I thought it best to test these myself.
The garden daffodils have survived the beating they took from the snow, and are now in flower.
And don't forget social media. I know lots of people knock it, but at times like these it reminds me that there IS more to life than sitting in traffic queues and hospital wards
I've seen a glimpse of your week on Twitter Mary and I do sympathise. But that's my girl listing all those blooming lovely positives!! It does help doesn't it. I know there are times when we could punch the wall and cry like a baby but for everything else there's all of those lovely things that you've shared right here. Wishing mum and dad well and a you a more peaceful week. Thanks for sharing with #tweensteensbeyond
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nicky. For now we're back to 'normal' but how long that can be maintained is anyone's guess. It's not been an easy week, though it definitely helped to have found some positive things. The weather forecast, with its threats of a return to winter, has turned up another - it didn't snow!
DeleteI'm sorry that you've had such an exhausting week Mary but it's great to see that there have been so many positives. You've certainly packed a lot in! I hope that your parents get better soon and things calm down a bit for you. Think of you. Thanks so much for making the time to join us on #TweensTeensBeyon
ReplyDeleteIt feels like it's been the longest week ever! But after a bit of juggling with transport and carers, both parents were back home before this weekend's snow, so things are settled again for a while. I do think it's necessary though to take time out and appreciate the nice things that happened this week too, otherwise the stress gets too much.
DeleteOh Mary you sound like you have definitely had a tough time of it recently. It is not easy having to care for our parents but it will come to us all at some point I think. Glad to hear that you are looking for the positives and that your family are keeping your spirits up. Sending you all my best wishes. Jo #TweensTeensBeyond
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind wishes, Jo. They're much appreciated at this time xx I always feel slightly guilty when you say I've had a tough time, but no, it's not easy becoming the carer for those we've always imagined took care of us.
DeleteI do identify with this Mary! Both my parents and my father in law have died over recent years but we had a couple of years of the kind of juggling you describe. Looking after yourself is pretty much the only way to manage it, well that and getting your head down.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a phase of life that no one prepares you for. For now, I'm trying to plan a summer of fun things to do from home, so that I'm never too far away if trouble strikes again.
Delete